Change part II
I did not treasure the relationship I had, and it was gone before I could realize it. Even in understanding this, I irrationally think my life will be better or that I will be more happy in the future. I lack the immense gratitude for the chance to feel t
Change is the chaos that comes with everything, it creates all the beauty and the pain. It gives us hope for a better tomorrow, where we can see change in what we desire. We are joyful, we thank the Gods and those around for this great change. On the other side, chaos ensues when change takes on a form that we could not foresee. The question of "why me" begin to arise as it seems that the world is against us. The very thing causing change is chaos, from which we are born from and will cycle through until we return to the state of nothingness that we always were.
A couple of days ago, I was invited to an esteemed dinner. I had the honor of meeting a prominent businessman and billionaire, the next CEO of Berkshire Hathaway. I also briefly met the previous Lieutenant Governor of Alberta. I sat at the table with the dean of engineering at our university. It was a great dinner, I enjoyed connecting with so many wonderful people. Although, all I could think about was a girl who doesn't talk to me anymore. If I could give this up for one more shot, I don’t think I would have stopped to think for a second. I’d go back just to see her smile, something about her just lit up my life. If I wanted to explain it, these words would never suffice.
I lost her to time and it left a hole in me. I continued to work hard, but the moments in between were filled with sorrow. There was no meaning to the grind, no one I can tell how my day went, but I didn’t think it was going to be this hard. I underestimated how hard it was to be a great man alone. The only way out is through, I'll have to do it no matter what, even if I'm sad or happy. The glorification of the grind is nice, but the sadness it brings is hard to contend with. I’m not sure what I need to sacrifice, my friends, and family. I haven’t been seeing them a whole lot, I’ve been saying I’m grinding but most of the time it's just me sitting alone thinking about old thoughts. The times we did this or that, or tried to sneak into parties and dance to old pop. I’m reminiscing about all the good old days, but maybe it's just another phase.
I did not treasure the relationship I had, and it was gone before I could realize it. Even in understanding this, I irrationally think my life will be better or that I will be more happy in the future. I lack the immense gratitude for the chance to feel these emotions. I was trapped in a state of always wanting more, blinding me to the gifts I had. Now I find myself longing for the past, still not acknowledging the presence of friends, family, and the wonderful life they have given me.
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Change part I
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