I've noticed that in my life, I have put value on people, positions or objects, tieing my identity to that things Ex: I'm not a good engineer until I work at Tesla.
Chasing the ideal characteristics instead of the person,place,position or object. We divorce the idea of the specific outcome and instead instill the core skills or characteristics that we think embody that person, place, or position of interest.
For example I wanted to be a bartender for the longest time I even got my proserve and I was talking to my friends about them, trying to ge a server or bartender position. If I did a further analysis on why I wanted that role
Bartender
Meet new people
Learn how to build rapport with people because I'll have to learn how to get tips
Make more money than retail ( due to tips)
This is something I didn't do, and this was 2 years ago. ( It's easier to connect the dots backwards)
I asked around my friends for a referral, I applied to many jobs, I took initiative and went in person to many jobs and I didn't get any server position. In my head, I thought it was over, I'm not going to be good at talking to people and I'll make no money. It's never over you can always figure out another path that could be better.
But through sheer luck, I wrote the story here. I was able to get a job as a car salesman, and if you go back to those 3 bullet points that illustrate why bartending was a good idea from my perspective it will be clear that Car salesman is better in the 3 metrics by a significant amount.
Car Salesmen
Build STRONGER relationships with people
If I don't build rapport with people I make 0 money
Make MORE money
This might be harder to put into practice but if you think deeply about the position, place, person or object that your chasing, you'll figure out that there are a couple reasons behind it. It may be money, fame, or whatever your drivers are but there might be a better role suited to those things. If you are glued to the role, then you won't be able to break free of it, but if you are stuck to the actual reasons/tangible benefits behind it, there will be more than one position,place, person or object that gets you there.
As young people we often idolize certain people, places, positions but that may be due to reasons outside yourself, such as parents, friends or even shows (for me). Once we attain these things, we'll realize it's often those attributes that make it or break it.
I asked my 10 year old brother why he wanted to an engineer, and he said I want to make things, and he was able to reason his way through it. He said I don't want to be a construction worker, because I won't be able to build everything I want.
ASIDE : He shared an idea with me about how we can add wings to the car and then make it a convertible aircraft/landmobile, but what would be the use case for a convertible aircraft, unless it can fly really high in that case why not just use a plane? Maybe I'll ask him tomorrow.
ASIDE: I have to stop being afraid of doing something risky. I feel like the window of how bad the risk will be is closing in on me, as in If I fail now it'll be so easy to get up and start again.