I've always been afraid of missing out on parties and social aspects of life. Mainly becasue I didn't want to be that guy in his 60s with no awesome stories or no cool life experiences. I feel like everyone has a longing to have a "normal" life, like where they have fun with friends, do silly things and mature later in life. I was always worried about not doing everything I wanted to do in the time before maturity or during youth.
THIS IS BAR FOR BAR WHAT I WROTE June 21 2022
context: I went to this sick highschool party, but I had to leave early because my parents got super mad, can't blame because it was on Tuesday or Monday
"Yesterday I was invited to a party, but I had to leave early, because it was too late 10: 45. I have a question, will I ever miss out on life, what's a time in my life where I couldn’t go do something. I remember I missed out on some things in India, but I don’t remember it now. so I feel like I’ve went to everything, I don’t think I can miss out on life. What’s important to you? If I am able to go to waterloo, that will be the biggest achievement of my life. It will also catapult my career, I will meet interesting people, there will be much needed change in my life, so why are you risking it for one night, for some people that you will barely know in 5 years. Friends always come and go Jess, whether you cry about it or not, these people will go, just like Abin, Shon, Cody, Zach and Alan, they will go on to live their lives. "
But now I really don't care spoiler I didn't even apply to waterloo, but I feel like I wanted to do everything I wanted. I feel like I can't miss out on life (Check side note), because It wouldn't be a new experience, besides travelling.
I love my friends. I think about some people I can't stop smiling ear to ear : )
Side note : I can't put it into words but I can explain this idea to anyone that took linear algebra basically, if you think about it an experience can be made up of basis vectors, maybe you can think of it like basis emotions. A very important idea is that the vectors are linearly independent, like if basically you can add a litle bit of happiness and joy to feel pleasant, but you can't add any amount of sadness to anger to feel joy. If you do this, you would be able to see that every experience can be constructed from these basis emotions, I feel like I've done enough things where I know all the basis emotions or vectors, hence, in theory I've done absolutely everything. so when I don't go out with friends on a satrudy or friday because I have to study I know exactly what it felt like, not to devalue spending time with friends
Experience = C1 * Happiness + C2* Sadness + C3*Anger .... ( going off inside out)
This video explains the math pretty well.