Gingerbread houses

I want to remember this feeling for the rest of my life I was hanging out with highschool friends and I feel like it was a pretty normal celebration. It was my first time decorating a gingerbread house which was really fun. I can’t overstate how regular this gathering was. I don’t remember saying anything that was particularly funny nor anything insightful the entire night. I didn’t share any crazy story or any ambitious plans for the future, but it was so much fun. The sad thing is that I’m going to forget this feeling. I truly felt loved, and it feels like there is no hole inside me. I do hope that I don’t go back into life wanting more and more, trying to fill that void inside me, but understanding that the only thing that can fill that void is me forgetting about that void, and living in the moment and enjoying the moment.

To be honest I didn’t really even want to go to the party because I was scared I’d have fun and not want to grind anymore. I used to think that fun would take away from wanting to be great, thinking greatness would fill that void inside me, like it would make my insecurities vanish. The frustrating thing that always got to me was, how do these people sleep at night, knowing they could have gotten better at xyz. I feel like the reason is because getting better at xyz, never helped them sleep at night, it was just me.

It really blows my mind how dumb I really am. I feel like everyone realizes this naturally but for me these are mind blowing revelations, that I don’t have to be at the pinnacle of mankind to be happy.

I don’t ever stop to smell the roses on the way because I need to get somewhere fast, but I don’t know where, just that someone told me to run and not stop. To the people that are running all the time, they’ll for sure get somewhere or by definition be ahead than me, but they’ll never know what the roses smell like.

I’m really sorry to all the people that I pushed aside because I didn’t think they weren’t obsessed with their craft, but full disclosure I don’t even work that hard but I think it’s just a insecurity thing.

People have been telling me to chill out since my amazing mentors at Peloton to my friends now, and I finally got it through my thick skull.

I’m didn’t know my friends were so important to me. Thank you so much, I lowkey cried last night cuz I was so happy, just a little bit tho.

Thanks Aaron 😉

There was a another gingerbread house that looked like this, but I couldn’t take a picture of it sorry girls. I feel like the mystery shack was the best, (ours was the left).