June 26th

I don’t know anymore I feel like everyone around me is going one way and I’m goin the other. I like my path the most, whether it will lead somewhere is not in my control. The only weird part is when I have to hangout with people and I just can’t relate, not only can’t I relate. I don’t want to relate . It’s like I have to drink and in general be a degenerate to “fit” in with the rest of the herd. When I’m around people. I automatically start telling them about all the times I’ve given into my impulses all the things, I never want to do again, just to prove to them, that I can be “cool” too. I can see my character degrading as I make more and more obscene jokes. It was funny when I was younger but I worked so hard to be different, and I’m throwing all that away. I don’t want to do that amymore, and furthermore I believe that working hard on something meaningful is the most rewarding thing in way imaginable.