Lent
Lent started a couple weeks ago and I’ve been semi-dialed into becoming a better Christian this lenten season. In these next couple paragraphs I’d like to examine / re-evaluate where I stand with religion and christianity. Namely, in progressing my christian values. The one big thing holding me back from christianity is the social aspect. I can’t remember why but being increasingly devoted to a certain religion feels like a very ‘uncool’ thing to do. You might think why would you care about what others think? Well there are many un christian values that me and my social group holds and moving forward in christianity may strain those bonds. I might be getting into my own head about this one.
The second reason is religious intolerance. I don’t ever want to be mean or unfair to those that don’t believe in what I believe in. At the end of the day, religion is something most people were born into, not actively research and chose.
The ‘ulterior motive’ behind wanting to become a better Christian, is to get closer to virtue.
To summarize my life’s mission, it is to be an individual of virtue. What is virtue? Essentially perfection within human reason. There are many things I do, that I know are bad things. Important note: this does not mean selflessness, a virtuous individual can still enjoy life, just within bounds.
Coming back to Christianity, I’ve been praying the Hail Mary, and reading the Bible before bed. I found that experimentally I was a more virtuous person that day. It could have been a second order effect, maybe something about acknowledging that I am just a human being with barely any control of my life, sparked humility in me. This humility may have caused the result, who knows. The important consideration is Hail Mary is a prayer I don’t even fully understand, like why are we even praying to Mary, when we have God? I feel like ‘Our Father’ truly makes sense as a prayer, and I believe in every word in it. The point is that this is irrational, but I’m not gonna sit here and say I only do rational things, because all my vices and sins are largely irrational. Perhaps to solve an irrational problem I need an irrational solution. Moving forward though I will try and really hone in on Christianity because it is helping me become a better person. However, I do want to stay on guard against religious intolerance which comes from my ego and find the balance between tradition and modern how it ties into virtue.
One thing I’d like to have an open question to everyone is,
Is religion ultimately a path towards virtue?
My Friends
I’m genuinely so thankful for my friends like I am so blessed. A couple weeks ago, they wanted to go snowboarding and I straight up said No, because I have no money coming in. I feel like most people would have just went that’s okay next time, but they were so persistent in working with me, like you can borrow my snow pants, you can use my boots and whatnot. I really appreciate it, because it may seem so small, but it means alot to me.
Photo of a bagel, an omelette and fish curry. I thought it was really funny because it’s like fusion of all cultures. I’m literally eating a bagel with fish curry