Messy Mind

I'm scared to lose the people I love when I show my true self.

Life is messy. You don't know what to do and what not to do. you get brought up into this world by two people, who don't know what they are doing. Then after that, you always make decisions that you think are the best. All of a sudden, years go by and you feel just behind. Trying to figure out the best thing to do is the most impossible task a man can embark on. There are so many factors affecting each and every individual, and so many uncertainties, but what can we do but drift through them? You don't know the difference between trying too hard and quitting on something, because you are going to regret both decisions in some little way. I've lived for 18 years but have nothing to show for it. I can't control anything that happens to me. I have new ideas every day, I've been lying to people saying 'Oh, if I just had a good idea then I would totally do it, and be a millionaire', it's a lie because I do have good ideas, I'm just too scared to act on them. I'm scared of what people might think of me, I'm scared of what they'll say to my face. I'm scared to lose the people I love when I show my true self. I've got nothing to lose, materially, that statement is true. One thing I've always held on to was my friends and family, what if I lose them too? I'll end up with nothing. I wanna keep everyone, all my friends with not-so-good habits, and at the same time carry out my agenda. and I know people will say follow your dreams, don't care about what others will say or think about you, but I'm just scared in the end no one will love me, maybe that's the primal me talking but I'm not sure about anything anymore.