Monsters

Bad habits are monsters that you feed every day. I see its presence and I see it growing. I am barely winning against them because of my good habits; my warriors, such as working out and reading, but one day, one week, one month of not doing the good habits, of not training my warriors. I will lose my soul to the monsters. They will envelop my life in darkness. I’ve realized that these monsters have risen through my character, not just the bad action or habit itself. It's hard to localize the habits, as they are a reflection of myself. There is a whole version of myself that is supporting it. These Characteristics of myself that seem quite small, like lying or talking behind people's backs. They all make up that Big Nasty monster that is a part of myself. I see this big nasty monster as a collection of these seemingly small little demons; that I can easily destroy. Little by little, just like how you fed your monsters, you can win and get your life back. These may seem little, but you have to be brutally honest about these things. It may mean cutting off some friends, it may stop you from making fun of others, it may stop you from listening to bad music. Let us try to overcome our monsters; ourselves.

My plan of action is to take little nudges towards an idealized self. I struggle with listening to music that does not reflect my path in life, sometimes I say funny things behind people’s backs when I shouldn’t, and I lie to people sometimes. I stay up on my phone instead of going to bed early, I stay in bed and daydream instead of waking up for school. I use slang and swear too much when I'm talking to people. These seemingly small things, though simple and straightforward to fix will take time and persistent effort, it will sneak back in, when you are confronting another little thing. Nonthless, through consisntent effort, anything can be accomplished. Giving up these little things should slowly change my character into something better, a version of myself I can be more content with.

Thank you for reading : )