My Last Sale
My heart felt weary, I was smiling but it wasn't from the heart, I let my ego get in the way, I liked being known as the car salesman, and I had the respect of my friends and family. My ego stood in the way of who I wanted to be vs who people wanted me to be, from the outside everything was great, I was selling cars, and I was making money. It was hard to admit it but the only reason I stuck around for so long was the recognition it gave me. I saw that when I said I sold cars for work, people would be shocked, I could feel the respect my position commanded. From attention from girls to people asking me where I'm going in my full formal attire when stopping for errands and more also inflated my ego.
It was a trap, it got to my head, It was worth more than the money I was making and the cars I was selling, it was my ego. I was scared from the bottom of my heart, I'm not sure if people would be friends with me if they realized I'm not a salesman at heart. I was afraid I was going to lose the respect that my friends had for me.
All the great praise they gave me for being a go-getter and working my ass for this job because I genuinely did not know anything about cars. I want all my friends even the ones I’ve grown apart with, I just feel like sometimes I just don't have something of value for them to stay friends with me for. The car salesman role filled that hole, I looked important, I felt important and I was important to those around me, I took that identity on with all the power I had. It was a way to make more friends and most importantly keep my friends and family around. I was scared of losing their love and respect.
When I quit my job, I know some people won't look at me the same, something people will think I'm a quitter and that I couldn't handle it, but I realized it was my life and that I have to call my own shots. I'm truly blessed, there have been so many situations where people go out of their way, just to help me out.
During my time at the dealership, all my managers and colleagues helped me so much, I am extremely thankful as they taught me how to sell, manage my time, and speak to people, I've accumulated a great array of skills, that will help me so much in the future. Everyone is not gonna love me, but if working at this job is not who I am, who are they loving? My vision is clear, but there is still a long journey to become the person that I want to be. I hope I can keep all my friends and family because I love every one of them. That being said I’m not going to let anyone in the way of the person I want to become.
Thank you so much to everyone that’s been supporting this blog and me, I really appreciate it
